Isn't this a shocker. I'm actually posting early! I'm headed to Salt Lake to spend a couple of days with a dear friend while she has some outpatient surgery, and since I'm still living in the dark ages, I don't have a lap-top. I'm heading down tonight because she has to be at the hospital at 5:30. YES, 5:30 AM. This will be tough for a night owl. It might be easier on my body to just stay up! :)
I'm feeling so pleased because for once I'm not Lyn-duh. I've caught others in the DUH act, as follows:
My mom. (I know--easy target!) She and my step-dad went to IHOP for breakfast recently. As they were leaving, Mom went to wait by the door, while Jack paid the check. When she saw him approach, she reached out and took his arm for him to help her to the car, except it wasn't Jack and she had the arm of a stranger. He and his wife were gracious and laughed, though I'm sure my mother turned every shade of red available.
Mike. Last week I couldn't find a big brown tray we use occasionally. I asked Mike if he knew where it was and he said he hadn't seen it. Following a lecture on leaving it somewhere and had I remembered to put our name on it, the matter was closed (though I KNEW I never took that tray out of the house because it's so ugly!). Yesterday, he came to me and said, "I have something to tell you that will make you happy, but mad at me. I found the tray. It was with some of my things." I was so proud of him for not hiding the tray in a different cupboard and "discovering" it later, I couldn't be mad at him.
Mike. Same day. He had been working in the garage and came in to refill his Windex bottle. After he finished he headed back to the garage, but found instead of the Windex bottle, he was carrying the remote! (Yes, he is male, isn't he!)
My sister. On pain of death, I have been warned NOT to use her name, so we'll call her Bonnie. Bonnie stopped at a fast food restaurant (What is it with our family and restaurants??). After she left the counter, she heard her phone ringing and started looking for it. She couldn't find it in her pocket, in her purse and it wasn't on the table. Knowing she was on the phone when she entered the restaurant, she checked to make sure she didn't leave it on the counter when she picked up her order. While this was going on, her daughter asked what she was looking for. "My phone," Bonnie answered. "I know I had it when I came in here." After a long pause, her daughter said, "Mom, you do realize you're talking to me on your cell phone, don't you?" And Bonnie isn't even blonde.
There. I feel so much better!
Quote of the day: Pride goeth before a fall. I can't wait to see what stupid thing I'll do now after laughing at everyone else!
This space will consist of ramblings, funnies and thoughts. Hopefully I'll be here (at least) once a week. If you enjoy reading my blog, please forward my address to others. See you again soon. Thanks, Lynda
Monday, February 21, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Mike and Front Runner
For those of you who know my husband Mike, this story will not come as a surprise.
It started with good intentions. Mike would meet a friend at the transportation hub in Salt Lake City and help her discover the ease of Front Runner and visit our home in Pleasant View for the first time.
Front Runner is Utah’s answer to a high-speed train, which in the future will link many of Utah’s Wasatch Front cities and hopefully remove many cars from the road. Somehow Utah’s version lost the high-speed concept. You’d think an enormous engine pulling three or four measly cars would be able to fly through the countryside, but no. The train, with bit in mouth, seems to prefer loping from station to station, making the commute easier, but not faster than the average gas-guzzler.
On the day of Mike’s trip, he made it to the train station in plenty of time to purchase a ticket, board the train and find a comfortable seat. He called ahead to our friend and advised he was on schedule, and provided her with the address of the transportation hub where they were to meet. As the train approached Salt Lake City, nature called and Mike made his way to the only restroom onboard. Somehow his timing was off because as he exited the potty he noticed the train was moving north again. He also noticed he was the only passenger onboard, and he was headed to the service center. When the train came to halt, his suspicions were confirmed as his train car pulled up on a ramp awaiting repairs or servicing.
Mike pushed button after button trying to get a door to open, to no avail; he tried the emergency phone, but no one answered. He checked the escape window and thought of breaking it out, when he decided to try the door button one more time. It worked and the door sprang open! Now however he found himself eight feet off the ground.
Looking out the door, to his delight he saw a portable stair ramp about four feet away from the door. By holding onto the door handle and swinging his body toward the ramp, on the second try he grabbed it, drug it over to the door and escaped.
About that time he received a call from our friend telling him there was no transit hub at the address he had given her–and Mike confessed he was miles from their rendezvous spot. The friend finally found the hub and Mike finally found someone to give him directions to the office. When he reached the office everyone had a good laugh and they gave him a ride to the hub. Miracle of miracles, he and the friend met at exactly the time they originally scheduled.
But, for the friend’s first train trip, all did not go well. A man seated across the aisle talked to Mike and our friend non-stop from the moment they got on the train until his stop. And, our animal lover friend was distressed to see an overweight, shaggy service dog with a couple seated nearby. To make it worse, the couple spoke roughly to the dog.
Mike and our friend made it to our house, and in spite of the eventful morning, we all enjoyed a pleasant lunch before Mike and our friend departed for the trip back to Salt Lake. All went well until they reached the next stop on the line, where they saw the same couple with the service dog waiting to board. The couple chose to sit in the same car, right near Mike and our friend, ruining the return trip for her. I don’t think Mike will talk her into riding the train again anytime soon.
It started with good intentions. Mike would meet a friend at the transportation hub in Salt Lake City and help her discover the ease of Front Runner and visit our home in Pleasant View for the first time.
Front Runner is Utah’s answer to a high-speed train, which in the future will link many of Utah’s Wasatch Front cities and hopefully remove many cars from the road. Somehow Utah’s version lost the high-speed concept. You’d think an enormous engine pulling three or four measly cars would be able to fly through the countryside, but no. The train, with bit in mouth, seems to prefer loping from station to station, making the commute easier, but not faster than the average gas-guzzler.
On the day of Mike’s trip, he made it to the train station in plenty of time to purchase a ticket, board the train and find a comfortable seat. He called ahead to our friend and advised he was on schedule, and provided her with the address of the transportation hub where they were to meet. As the train approached Salt Lake City, nature called and Mike made his way to the only restroom onboard. Somehow his timing was off because as he exited the potty he noticed the train was moving north again. He also noticed he was the only passenger onboard, and he was headed to the service center. When the train came to halt, his suspicions were confirmed as his train car pulled up on a ramp awaiting repairs or servicing.
Mike pushed button after button trying to get a door to open, to no avail; he tried the emergency phone, but no one answered. He checked the escape window and thought of breaking it out, when he decided to try the door button one more time. It worked and the door sprang open! Now however he found himself eight feet off the ground.
Looking out the door, to his delight he saw a portable stair ramp about four feet away from the door. By holding onto the door handle and swinging his body toward the ramp, on the second try he grabbed it, drug it over to the door and escaped.
About that time he received a call from our friend telling him there was no transit hub at the address he had given her–and Mike confessed he was miles from their rendezvous spot. The friend finally found the hub and Mike finally found someone to give him directions to the office. When he reached the office everyone had a good laugh and they gave him a ride to the hub. Miracle of miracles, he and the friend met at exactly the time they originally scheduled.
But, for the friend’s first train trip, all did not go well. A man seated across the aisle talked to Mike and our friend non-stop from the moment they got on the train until his stop. And, our animal lover friend was distressed to see an overweight, shaggy service dog with a couple seated nearby. To make it worse, the couple spoke roughly to the dog.
Mike and our friend made it to our house, and in spite of the eventful morning, we all enjoyed a pleasant lunch before Mike and our friend departed for the trip back to Salt Lake. All went well until they reached the next stop on the line, where they saw the same couple with the service dog waiting to board. The couple chose to sit in the same car, right near Mike and our friend, ruining the return trip for her. I don’t think Mike will talk her into riding the train again anytime soon.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I survived the big day!
Following my COLONOSCOPY yesterday, I felt like Mrs. Rip Van Winkle; it took me all day to emerge from a doped up feelings. I expected to be all cheerful at having it behind me (no pun intended!) and coming home and being a bundle of activity. But, instead a slug took over my body. I couldn't find the couch and a blanket fast enough and dozed off immediately. I'd wake long enough to make a trip to the bathroom, eat or drink something (thanks to Mike), then doze some more. The strange part was with each period of sleep, the dreams became more bizarre, including having my dead step-mother very much alive and showing up at my door unannounced. Talk about a nightmare!
But, (again no pun intended) I passed the test with flying colors and the GI doc said I don't need to come back for ten years!!!! Yippee! Perhaps by then they'll develop an exterior method of checking your colon--though I imagine you'll still have to go through that nasty prep to make sure your pipes are clean and shiny.
Our doc told us a story of a woman who came in for the procedure, who was very angry with him. It seems she did NOT read the prep instructions which include not eating solid food (clear liquids only) the day before and starting the prep at six the evening prior to the exam. Perhaps the instructions don't spell out the need to remain VERY close to a potty, but if something is meant to clean you out, it has to go somewhere!
So, the lady explained to the doctor how embarrassed she was the evening before the procedure when she ordered a meal at a restaurant and then spent the next two hours in the restroom. She hadn't been able to eat her meal or visit with her friends! As the saying goes: they live among us! (And drive, and vote and carry weapons, AND have children!!)
Now that I've made this sound like so much fun, PLEASE GET CHECKED. It's worth it all to know you're squeaky clean--and they give you photos to prove it!
Happy day.
But, (again no pun intended) I passed the test with flying colors and the GI doc said I don't need to come back for ten years!!!! Yippee! Perhaps by then they'll develop an exterior method of checking your colon--though I imagine you'll still have to go through that nasty prep to make sure your pipes are clean and shiny.
Our doc told us a story of a woman who came in for the procedure, who was very angry with him. It seems she did NOT read the prep instructions which include not eating solid food (clear liquids only) the day before and starting the prep at six the evening prior to the exam. Perhaps the instructions don't spell out the need to remain VERY close to a potty, but if something is meant to clean you out, it has to go somewhere!
So, the lady explained to the doctor how embarrassed she was the evening before the procedure when she ordered a meal at a restaurant and then spent the next two hours in the restroom. She hadn't been able to eat her meal or visit with her friends! As the saying goes: they live among us! (And drive, and vote and carry weapons, AND have children!!)
Now that I've made this sound like so much fun, PLEASE GET CHECKED. It's worth it all to know you're squeaky clean--and they give you photos to prove it!
Happy day.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Snaggle Tooth
My dentist advised I'm experiencing another wonderful benefit of aging--my teeth are all moving toward the center, giving me a snaggle tooth appearance. My last encounter with orthodontics left much to be desired, but maybe I'll get luckier this time. At least the last one left me with a funny story.
About six months into my previous treatment, which required a hefty down payment, I noticed my bite didn't match. When I mentioned this to the orthodontist, he explained in a rather pedantic tone that I could either have straight teeth or a bite, but not both. I set out to obtain a second and third opinion, and possible validation for recourse if Dr. X would not refund my money.
On the day of my appointment for the first consultation, I ran into road construction. When two lanes narrowed down to one, drivers began the every-other-car routine. The car next to me went, then I attempted to go, but another driver cut in. As it was my turn, I pushed to stay in place, but when fenders came within inches, I gave way. I looked at the female driver, held my palm up and said, "Go ahead." She flipped me off! I fumed, but slipped in behind her. As the construction cleared, I lost sight of Ms. In a Hurry, but saw her car when I turned into the orthodontist's lot. When I entered the building, there she sat at the reception desk, smiling like she'd never seen me before.
Oh, and just for the record, both the second and third opinion doctors said my orthodontist was wrong and should refund my down payment. Would they put it in writing? "Well, ah, well, you see, ah, I don't think I'd feel comfortable doing that."
So, perhaps I'll be a snaggle tooth until I find a GREAT orthodontist!
About six months into my previous treatment, which required a hefty down payment, I noticed my bite didn't match. When I mentioned this to the orthodontist, he explained in a rather pedantic tone that I could either have straight teeth or a bite, but not both. I set out to obtain a second and third opinion, and possible validation for recourse if Dr. X would not refund my money.
On the day of my appointment for the first consultation, I ran into road construction. When two lanes narrowed down to one, drivers began the every-other-car routine. The car next to me went, then I attempted to go, but another driver cut in. As it was my turn, I pushed to stay in place, but when fenders came within inches, I gave way. I looked at the female driver, held my palm up and said, "Go ahead." She flipped me off! I fumed, but slipped in behind her. As the construction cleared, I lost sight of Ms. In a Hurry, but saw her car when I turned into the orthodontist's lot. When I entered the building, there she sat at the reception desk, smiling like she'd never seen me before.
Oh, and just for the record, both the second and third opinion doctors said my orthodontist was wrong and should refund my down payment. Would they put it in writing? "Well, ah, well, you see, ah, I don't think I'd feel comfortable doing that."
So, perhaps I'll be a snaggle tooth until I find a GREAT orthodontist!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Lyn-Duh!
The cold I've had is losing its grip, hallelujah! so after today I'm hopeful I can get back to my Tuesday/Saturday post schedule.
Everyone loves a laugh, but how many of us love laughing at ourselves??? Not me, but some of the stuff I do is too dumb to keep. Here are some recent examples:
Everyone loves a laugh, but how many of us love laughing at ourselves??? Not me, but some of the stuff I do is too dumb to keep. Here are some recent examples:
- I broke the cardinal rule of turning while driving last week: look right twice, and left once. I looked right--NO cars anywhere in sight. Looked left--several cars two blocks away. I started making my left turn and out of nowhere a pickup truck appeared in front of me, from the right! I have no idea where that guy came from! We both stopped (several feet from point of impact), but instead of completing his turn (he DID have the right of way), the pickup driver just sat and glared at me. I know I was in the wrong, but what was I supposed to do at that point?? A car had pulled up behind me--I couldn't go back; the pickup blocked a right turn, and the cars from the left were approaching. Finally I just stepped on the gas and continued my left turn, while the pickup driver sat blocking at least one of the lanes for the approaching vehicles. Perhaps I scared the begebbers out of him and it took a while to get his shaking hands under control. Since there were no screeching tires, no horns, no contact, I didn't pull over after I completed the turn, wishing instead to just slither away with my lesson learned. If you're reading this pickup driver, I'm sorry!
- Same night ( I guess you could call this a bad day!). I set out my night pills and stored my morning pills in a little container. Then I opened the container, swallowed the morning pills and stood looking at the night pills on the counter! Hopefully they all worked out which way they were supposed to go and when, because I'm still here. Come to think of it, that was the day this cold started...
- The second Thursday of every month is a set date with some of my friends--so set that occasionally I don't mark it on the calendar. Big mistake. When another invitation came along this week, I accepted--after all there was nothing on the calendar! DUH!!! (See my mother knew what I'd be like when she named me!)
Monday, February 7, 2011
A New Post
No post Saturday. No post Sunday, and only a very short post today before I head back to bed. Last week a virus attacked me leaving me with a sore throat, head and body aches, the whole gamut of a drippy, stuffy nose (how can it do both at the same time!!??), coughs and sneezes--plus my belly doesn't feel well either. I swear this developed because my mother introduced me as her sister (!!) last week and my immune system shattered from the shock.
So. Now that I've said hi, I'm off to bed again. Hopefully I'll be able to post some "Lyn-duhs" tomorrow.
PS. My mother-in-law, Maralyn, told me she has the same thing--and has had for two weeks!! If I'm not better in a week, will someone please come shoot me??
So. Now that I've said hi, I'm off to bed again. Hopefully I'll be able to post some "Lyn-duhs" tomorrow.
PS. My mother-in-law, Maralyn, told me she has the same thing--and has had for two weeks!! If I'm not better in a week, will someone please come shoot me??
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
A Beautiful Day
Today dawned cold, crisp and clear--a big change from this past weekend when Northern Utah suffered under a red smog alert. Left over fall leaves are being pushed south and snow on the mountains framed in my window is being blown into billowing puffs. It's a wonderful view--from inside. Outside the briskness lowered the wind-chill factor to the minus range. But...I'm not complaining. I'm warm and toasty looking out at it.
Today turned out different than I expected it would yesterday, as I anticipated my five year colonoscopy appointment this morning. As you all know, it isn't the physical "act" of whatever goes up your a**, it's the prep. I fasted all day on clear, no red or purple dyed drinks and was about to mix that wonderfully cleansing cocktail called MoviPrep when I checked over the instructions one last time and discovered my appointment wasn't until the 15th!! It might have felt like relief, except it's still ahead of me. I even rejoiced in perhaps shedding a few (of the many) unwanted pounds until I began compensating for going hungry all day by eating breakfast, lunch and dinner in one sitting.
How could the 1st and 15th get mixed up? If you're not already where I am in age, you'll find out soon enough. My email inbox is full of charming movies or clever comments on the wonders of losing your memory. I think I've seen them all before (haven't I?), but it's a nice reminder that I'm not alone in this hide and seek "golden" age.
I told my mother-in-law, Maralyn, when I REALLY start losing my memory I'm going to jump off a curb so my kids won't have to listen to the same story 15 times a day. "Honey," she said, "by then you won't remember what you're supposed to do." Ain't it the truth!
Enjoy the day, whether you can remember it tomorrow or not! :} As Mae West said: "Old age ain't for sissies." I'm a believer.
Today turned out different than I expected it would yesterday, as I anticipated my five year colonoscopy appointment this morning. As you all know, it isn't the physical "act" of whatever goes up your a**, it's the prep. I fasted all day on clear, no red or purple dyed drinks and was about to mix that wonderfully cleansing cocktail called MoviPrep when I checked over the instructions one last time and discovered my appointment wasn't until the 15th!! It might have felt like relief, except it's still ahead of me. I even rejoiced in perhaps shedding a few (of the many) unwanted pounds until I began compensating for going hungry all day by eating breakfast, lunch and dinner in one sitting.
How could the 1st and 15th get mixed up? If you're not already where I am in age, you'll find out soon enough. My email inbox is full of charming movies or clever comments on the wonders of losing your memory. I think I've seen them all before (haven't I?), but it's a nice reminder that I'm not alone in this hide and seek "golden" age.
I told my mother-in-law, Maralyn, when I REALLY start losing my memory I'm going to jump off a curb so my kids won't have to listen to the same story 15 times a day. "Honey," she said, "by then you won't remember what you're supposed to do." Ain't it the truth!
Enjoy the day, whether you can remember it tomorrow or not! :} As Mae West said: "Old age ain't for sissies." I'm a believer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)