Mike and Front Runner

     For those of you who know my husband Mike, this story will not come as a surprise.
     It started with good intentions. Mike would meet a friend at the transportation hub in Salt Lake City and help her discover the ease of Front Runner and visit our home in Pleasant View for the first time.
     Front Runner is Utah’s answer to a high-speed train, which in the future will link many of Utah’s Wasatch Front cities and hopefully remove many cars from the road. Somehow Utah’s version lost the high-speed concept. You’d think an enormous engine pulling three or four measly cars would be able to fly through the countryside, but no. The train, with bit in mouth, seems to prefer loping from station to station, making the commute easier, but not faster than the average gas-guzzler.
     On the day of Mike’s trip, he made it to the train station in plenty of time to purchase a ticket, board the train and find a comfortable seat. He called ahead to our friend and advised he was on schedule, and provided her with the address of the transportation hub where they were to meet. As the train approached Salt Lake City, nature called and Mike made his way to the only restroom onboard. Somehow his timing was off because as he exited the potty he noticed the train was moving north again. He also noticed he was the only passenger onboard, and he was headed to the service center. When the train came to halt, his suspicions were confirmed as his train car pulled up on a ramp awaiting repairs or servicing.
     Mike pushed button after button trying to get a door to open, to no avail; he tried the emergency phone, but no one answered. He checked the escape window and thought of breaking it out, when he decided to try the door button one more time. It worked and the door sprang open! Now however he found himself eight feet off the ground.
     Looking out the door, to his delight he saw a portable stair ramp about four feet away from the door. By holding onto the door handle and swinging his body toward the ramp, on the second try he grabbed it, drug it over to the door and escaped.
     About that time he received a call from our friend telling him there was no transit hub at the address he had given her–and Mike confessed he was miles from their rendezvous spot. The friend finally found the hub and Mike finally found someone to give him directions to the office. When he reached the office everyone had a good laugh and they gave him a ride to the hub. Miracle of miracles, he and the friend met at exactly the time they originally scheduled.
     But, for the friend’s first train trip, all did not go well. A man seated across the aisle talked to Mike and our friend non-stop from the moment they got on the train until his stop. And, our animal lover friend was distressed to see an overweight, shaggy service dog with a couple seated nearby. To make it worse, the couple spoke roughly to the dog.
     Mike and our friend made it to our house, and in spite of the eventful morning, we all enjoyed a pleasant lunch before Mike and our friend departed for the trip back to Salt Lake. All went well until they reached the next stop on the line, where they saw the same couple with the service dog waiting to board. The couple chose to sit in the same car, right near Mike and our friend, ruining the return trip for her. I don’t think Mike will talk her into riding the train again anytime soon.

I survived the big day!

Following my COLONOSCOPY yesterday, I felt like Mrs. Rip Van Winkle; it took me all day to emerge from a doped up feelings. I expected to be all cheerful at having it behind me (no pun intended!) and coming home and being a bundle of activity. But, instead a slug took over my body. I couldn't find the couch and a blanket fast enough and dozed off immediately. I'd wake long enough to make a trip to the bathroom, eat or drink something (thanks to Mike), then doze some more. The strange part was with each period of sleep, the dreams became more bizarre, including having my dead step-mother very much alive and showing up at my door unannounced. Talk about a nightmare!
     But, (again no pun intended) I passed the test with flying colors and the GI doc said I don't need to come back for ten years!!!! Yippee! Perhaps by then they'll develop an exterior method of checking your colon--though I imagine you'll still have to go through that nasty prep to make sure your pipes are clean and shiny.
     Our doc told us a story of a woman who came in for the procedure, who was very angry with him. It seems she did NOT read the prep instructions which include not eating solid food (clear liquids only) the day before and starting the prep at six the evening prior to the exam. Perhaps the instructions don't spell out the need to remain VERY close to a potty, but if something is meant to clean you out, it has to go somewhere!
     So, the lady explained to the doctor how embarrassed she was the evening before the procedure when she ordered a meal at a restaurant and then spent the next two hours in the restroom. She hadn't been able to eat her meal or visit with her friends! As the saying goes: they live among us! (And drive, and vote and carry weapons, AND have children!!)
     Now that I've made this sound like so much fun, PLEASE GET CHECKED. It's worth it all to know you're squeaky clean--and they give you photos to prove it!
     Happy day.