WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

There's a television program entitled, "What Would You Do." For those of you who haven't seen it, actors create a situation in a public area while the cameras roll. It's a test to see who will get involved, and why, when they see something wrong.
     Mike had his own test recently, though it wasn't filmed. Here's how it went:
     He took the Front Runner (the Wasatch Front commuter train) from Ogden to Salt Lake, then transferred to the light rail train (Trax) in Salt Lake to travel to Murray. My sister Bonnie and her daughter Cathy were with me and our plan was to meet Mike at the 4500 South stop. We waited, but no Mike. We wondered if he missed his connection and would be on the next train, so we waited longer. Soon I received a call from Mike, who was at the 5100 South stop.
     Trax was crowded when it left Salt Lake and Mike, who had gotten on early, gave up his seat to a woman. As Mike never meets a stranger, he stood nearby and visited with the woman, until their conversation was interrupted by an obscene outburst. All eyes were turned toward a man lying on the floor in the junction between two cars. A man, who appeared to be high or crazy--or both, screamed every vulgar epithet possible. People became upset, children displayed frightened faces and a couple of women cried.  A group of men circling the wild man seemed to be egging him on, including a 6'5" giant, whose appearance perhaps deterred thoughts of intervening by all except Mike. He approached the group and in a firm voice told Wild Man to knock it off.
     "Yes, sir. Yes, sir," said Wild Man, and he did--until Mike returned to his place. Then, with further encouragement from his cheering squad, Wild Man became even more belligerent and violent, all still while lying on the floor. Mike returned to him, grabbed him by the top of his hood and drug Wild Man toward an exit.  When the train stopped, Mike tried to get Wild Man in position, and asked other to open the door, but the train was already in motion again. Mike called and alerted UTA (Utah Transit Authority) of the situation. By the next stop, people hopped to get the doors open and to the applause and cheers of the passengers, Mike drug Wild Man off the train and thrust him into the arms of the waiting officers.
     Mike may not have been the oldest passenger on the train, but there were certainly others much more physically capable than he. Why didn't they react?  Why is it easier to turn a blind eye than to get involved? I hope if I ever get into a situation where I need help, Mike--or someone like him, is nearby.

UGLY

I lacked courage to post this blog the other day, but it gnawed on me and wouldn't let me be, so here it is. Disclaimer: I apologize in advance to those I offend. Blame the imp sitting on my shoulder who made me do this.
     A few days ago I received an email portraying beautiful images of women of one political party and horrible pictures of women of another party--Gabrielle Giffords was not included. It saddened me, not just in light of what happened in Tucson, but because I too have forwarded such messages in the past.
     How do we reach the point of ugly references to people who oppose us politically? When we're in a grocery store, do we pick people we think might be of another party and give them the evil eye? Do we avoid friends and neighbors--and even loved ones--who might not agree with us? Does spouting "vitriolic rhetoric" (a phrase we've all become too accustomed to this last week) make it easier to like or work with our opponent? Does such speech engender trust and cooperation?
     I think most of us are beyond racial slurs, ethnic jokes and name calling, yet how many of us denounce others over beliefs or ideology opposite ours?
     Yes, I'm aware this attack may not have been politically motivated, but does that condone screaming insults in anger, perpetuating mistruths or exploiting opponents? There's been a great outcry for more civility in our country in the wake of the Tucson tragedy, yet we can't just look to political leaders. It must start with you and with me being aware of our actions, of the words we use and the message our intolerance conveys. Just as hate perpetuates hate, so can kindness perpetuate kindness. Closing the door to judgment, superiority and intolerance might just help us learn to like each other.
     So, starting today, I'm going to bite my tongue and smile when I'm tempted to yell "You Jerk," at the driver in the car that just cut me off. Who knows. It might be my next best friend who's just having a bad day.

Decisions

After I checked in for final training and picked up my new down jacket for my Sundance Film Festival volunteer position yesterday, Mike and I went to see The King's Speech. What a fantastic movie. It highlighted for me again the importance one decision can make in your life, and in the world. If Edward hadn't been so besotted with Wallis Simpson and abdicated the throne, the outcome of WWII might have been much different--for all of us.
     It reminded me of the choices I make each day--some minor, some life-changing. Where would I be today if I had chosen another option even once in my lifetime? I doubt I would be sitting at my computer in Pleasant View, Utah, on this gray Sunday writing this blog. Perhaps I wouldn't even know Mike, wouldn't have my children--but let's not go there! It's too scary!
     How could our neighbors Chris and Kim know what their lives would be like when they chose to purchase the home next to us? We seemed innocent enough, but I'll give you one example of why they may regret that decision.
     Chris likes to do special things for Kim's August birthday and he told me he was going to take her to Park City and stay in a fancy place. As the day drew nearer I asked what they were going to do with Rudy while they were away. Rudy is the smartest, cutest, most energetic Jack Russell terrier alive, by the way. Chris said they were just going to leave him home. I was shocked! Kim comes home on her lunch break every day to let Rudy out to romp and play, and do his business, even if on most days she has to coax him from his comfy bed and run around outside to get him to walk off the porch. Now they were thinking of leaving him overnight???
     "Do you want us to put him out?" I asked.
     "You can if you want. You know where we hide the key," Chris said, in a nonchalant voice.
     That should have been a clue that maybe their plans changed, but no... Wanting to wait as late as possible so Rudy could make it overnight, at eleven o'clock I started bugging Mike to go with me to let Rudy out. Mike was already down for the night and not fond of the idea, but I persisted. So, pajama clad, we made our way via flashlight to the hiding place for the key, walked around to the front of the house, and opened the door. Rudy gave a muffled bark and Mike called out: "Rudy. Rudy. Let's go outside."
     From upstairs we heard a voice. "Mike. Is that you?"
     "Oh, #$%@," crossed both my mind and Mike's. (I know because we compared notes later!)
      After uttering embarrassed apologies, we hastily locked the door and replaced the key and returned to bed, though the grumbling from my spouse didn't cease until sleep overtook him.
     Outside our kitchen window the next morning (next to Chris and Kim's front door), a sign was posted: "HOUSE FOR SALE. GREAT NEIGHBORS. GREAT NEIGHBORHOOD NIGHT WATCH PROGRAM. WILL CHECK ON PETS ANY TIME."
     Of course they didn't move, so they're still reaping the rewards of their decision to move next to us. Oh...and they make sure someone else checks on Rudy while they're gone now!

     Not every attempted good deed is appreciated!